garbagechild | 007. [Video]

_{[It's not uncommon for Wrath to be sharing screentime with his Pokemon, but in this case, he looks distinctly irritated about it.]

[Behind him is a Lopunny that's a good foot or so taller than him, clad in a dress that is... DAMN FANCY-LOOKING, ACTUALLY. There's like... frills and ribbons and junk.]

[Wrath glares directly into the camera, appealing to the hypothetical audience to side with him.]}

She wasn't gonna be happy until Mama and I bought her a DRESS.

And she's still not happy!

Why does she like clothes so much?

Pokemon don't even need to wear clothes like people and things that look like people do.

I wish I was a Pokemon, because then I wouldn't need to wear clothes.

_{[The Lopunny-- a recent acquisition from the raid he'd performed with Ralph of a wealthy socialite's all-night dinner party, aka Wrath's first Real Mission (tm)-- lets out a huff and taps her long, curved claws impatiently on her arm. She clearly is about as pleased to be paired with Wrath as he is with her.]

[He responds with a huff of his own.]}

Hmph.

Anyway, she's brown.

So her name is Dirty.

_{[The rabbit Pokemon's head whips around, outraged, but Wrath yells right over her angry growl.]}

I DON'T CARE, DIRTY!

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[...WRATH.]

She won't like you any better if you call name her that, you know.

If you call her "Dirty," she will never warm up to you.

[...wow that name.]

Weell...have you tried talking to her and asking what it is she wants in particular? Maybe with a psychic type or somethin' that could translate for you? Maybe it wasn't the right kind of dress or something...

And...are you really gonna call her Dirty?

Edited 2015-07-17 04:27 (UTC)

[Riku tries not to laugh, but a chuckle still sneaks out of him. He cracks a wry smile, trying his best to hide his amusement.]

Hey, what's wrong with clothes?

[This kid's something else.]

[Hearing someone badmouth clothes of all things, Teddie had to jump on the gear. Had to. As in, he would somehow die if he didn't express his MILD IRRITATION.]

Huh?! What the heck are you talking about, clothes are the best thing about...anything! You shoulda seen Cho-chan when she just got a pair of socks.

[As if on cue, a cubchoo head proceeds to squeeze into the feed and against her trainer's face, as if trying to push him out of it. That is by far the prettiest dress she's ever seen, not to mention all the proof she needs that dresses for pokemon exist. She wants it. She needs it. Teddie, in a rare moment of understanding, tries desperately to take control back from the tiny ice bear.]

So, uh, where'd you get that dress anyhow?

Stilzchen sometimes wears a sash, like I do...

[It had weirded him out at first, too.]

Maybe...it just makes them feel better. You probably have things you don't have to do but that make you happy, right?

So?

I don't need to make her like me.

I already have Pokemon that like me.

Like Sleepy. Sleepy likes me.

So?

I ALREADY have Pokemon that like me.

Anyway, I don't like her EITHER.

I DID! She wanted a dress.

So we s-- bought her a dress! It was even the one she pointed to.

She's obviously NEVER gonna be happy.

And yes.

Yes I am.

They're annoying, and hard to keep track of! And humans are really weird about them.

Like, wooly tubes fit on all KINDS of things. But if you put them on your hands or ears, everybody goes 'eeeuuuhhh socks are for feet!'

They're nice when it's cold but I think they're probably more trouble than they're worth most of the time.

_{[Wrath lets out a huff, but Teddy does have a point.]}

Well, okay, socks are all right. But only when it's cold.

I don't know why anybody would wear them any other time.

_{[HMPH.]

[But at the question, Wrath shrugs.]}

Um, a store I guess?

I didn't look at the name.

_{[Mostly because he... hadn't actually 'bought' it. More like straight-up stole it.]}

... Well. I guess I don't really need pudding cups.

But they do make me happy.

... But, that's still real different from clothes! You can't eat clothes.

_{[A pause.]}

...Or... well... you can, but people will yell at you.

[Emil giggles a bit at that. Has he ever known someone with such a goofy thought process?]

No, that probably wouldn't taste very good. I guess that means she really likes clothes, though, for her to want them so bad when she can't eat them!

Maybe she...doesn't like her name? I have a Lopunny too, and I gave mine a sweet name...like Honey! Maybe you could try something like that instead...?

[At that, Teddie takes out a notebook, scratching his chin.]

A store, hrmmm~?

[And he begins to write something down. What he could possibly write after "a store I guess" is...debatable, but chances are it's literally "A STORE" in big, bold print.

No one said bears are good detectives.]

But that's more like it, nothing's better than the feeling of warm fuzzy socks on your freezing toes! ...Bearhaps that's why your new pokeydokeymon is all cranky. Did you check to see if her feet are all cold?

_{[Here is a sound Wrath probably doesn't hear often. Or quite possibly hasn't heard at all ever. That sound is Ralph snickering at his teammate's dismay.]}

[ Schoolteacher, meet child. Child, meet schoolteacher with a very stern expression. Arms folded, frown, everything. ]

You know, that's not a very nice name to call her.

You will have a much easier time if you are civil to her. Then she will likely give you civility in return.

Do you have any psychic pokèmon that might help you understand her a bit more? Some kind of pokèmon should be able to help both of you come to an understanding.

That's because they are? Socks are designed to keep your feet warm, and they help protect your feet from blisters when you're wearing shoes. That, and they send to soak up a lot of sweat...

[And get stinky, the thought alone which makes him laugh softly to himself.]

That, and clothes provide extra protection. It's not the same as armor, but that's at least one extra layer to protect your skin from the sun, scrapes and bruises, plus people tend to think it's indecent if you start running around in the nude.

[Envy has started to notice a theme in Wrath's Pokemon's nicknames. When it had just been a few of them and he hadn't been paying much attention, it had been harder to catch on, but the last few have made enough of an impression to be memorable.]

[Hungry, Mad, Sleepy, Jelly, and now Dirty of all things (Envy's not too sure that the double meaning was intentional there)...]

[Some more questioning is in order here. If he just makes Wrath mad, he might get something out of him!]

Wow, if you hate her enough to name her after dirt, why not let her go?

_{[Wrath experiences the world just a liiiiiiiiiiiittle differently than most people.]

[Emil makes a fair point, though, and Wrath stops to consider that. It makes sense... but also it doesn't!]}

I don't get it.

I WAS civil to her!

She started it by scratching me.

_{[And unlike when Mad left chompmarks all over his hands, he is NOT happy about getting scratched by his latest recruit.]}

Why would I give her a sweet name?

She's not sweet.

Like... at all.

_{[At that last point, Wrath descends into a thoughtful silence.]}

... Oh. That explains why that guy in the store wanted me to leave that one time.

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