garbagechild | 004. [Video/Action for Rocket HQ]

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004. [Video/Action for Rocket HQ]

_{[There are plenty of newborn Pokemon that enter the world squalling or cooing.]

[This one entered with a whole lot of growling and then nearly took somebody's finger off.]

[The little Deino on the screen, which happens to have a faintly-sparkling green coat rather than the customary blue, is yanking and worrying at the end of one of the scarves that its trainer had received for Christmas as well as the egg it had just hatched from. It's been in the world outside its eggshell for about five minutes and it's already filled with fury at the fact that this long soft thing exists in its general vicinity.]

[Wrath is thrilled.]

[He turns to the camera (which is presumably held by his Kangaskhan) proudly, apparently unconcerned that the tiny dino-dragon is nearly tugging the scarf right off of him.]}

The rock turned into a sparkling animal!

Her name is Mad.

Mad likes to bite.

_{[... A little like her trainer, actually. They also share the same hairdo aesthetic. This is clearly a match made in heaven.]}

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Okay.

_{[Perhaps fortunately, he either didn't notice Greed's outstretched hands or just.... doesn't know what it's like to have someone catch him in midair, because he swings his legs off the pole, twists like a cat, and lands on his feet with a thump.]

[Then immediately bounces back upright, swinging the Deino into the air as she makes a grumpy croaking noise.]}

What's a bagel?

[Honestly, it's for the best. That way, Greed doesn't get surprised and neither does Wrath! At the question he smirks, like seeing a little boy twist around in the air like a cat is perfectly normal.

...actually it probably is to him.]

You've never had a bagel? They're these round, chewy bread things. They're great as sandwiches.

Oh!

I don't eat bread.

It's full of snakes, you know!

_{[... Yeah, you can thank Cecil Palmer for telling Wrath that consuming wheat products would turn him into a malevolent spirit.[}

...eh? Who the hell told you that? They were lying to you.

[Seriously. Who the would tell a kid something like that?]

It was a man with glasses and dark hair! He wasn't too short or tall or too fat or too skinny and he was handing out colorful bits of paper.

Bread turns you into a malevolent spirit and makes plasma come out of your nose.

_{[A pause.]}

... Well. That's what he said.

[It's fortunate that Greed has no idea who Wrath is referring to, because it keeps a certain radio announcer from having his face punched in.]

That wasn't very nice of him.

You're not going to turn into an evil spirit, okay? Your friend Darius will show you.

Hm...

_{[Wrath squints up at Greed briefly, scrunching his nose thoughtfully.]}

... I guess I'll try it.

But if there's any snakes in there, you can keep the bay-gle.

[Greed tries very hard not to laugh, because the idea of there being snakes in bagels is absurd. But Wrath is the poor kid who doesn't have a clue how the world works, and it's entirely not his fault.

He moves to pat the kid on the shoulder right-handedly.]

Come on, it's not too far from here.

[If Wrath looks like he's going to follow, Greed will lead the way.]

_{[It's TOTALLY absurd. But yeah-- the only human food Wrath had any experience with had quite literally just been MEAT. Fresh-caught fish yoinked from the Elrics' campfire and, later, juicy, equally-fresh barbeque.]

[And then Envy had shown up and ruined everything, and Wrath's stint trying to live like a human had ended there.]

[Needless to say, there are LOTS of different kinds of human food and every single one of them is a brand new experience.]

[He trots along at Greed's side perfectly willingly, holding the Deino like a stuffed animal.]}

Can we get food for Mad too? She didn't like the carrots I brought her earlier.

I don't like carrots either, though.

That's another way Mad and me are alike.

Of course.

[Deinos probably eat meat or something, right? He's not sure if a bakery would have much in the way of delicious things for a carnivore, but maybe it'll have a ham sandwich or something.]

I'm sure the place has something nice for Mad to eat, and I'm not gonna make you eat carrots.

_{[No one's forced Wrath to eat anything yet, and it's good to know that it won't start with his new buddy Darius! Wrath beams chipperly as he walks along. AND THEN STARTS TO CHATTER.]}

Good!

Carrots aren't tasty at all.

They're also orange.

Orange isn't a tasty color, unless it's actually an orange.

Did you know that orange is both a color AND a fruit?

I found that out awhile ago!

Actual orange fruits are pretty good.

[Naturally, these are all things he knows about, though he likes carrots. Still, he's trying not to be a condescending dickbag to Wrath because someone has to keep an eye on the kid.

If the other homunculi won't do it, he will.]

Is it, now? Learn something new every day.

Oranges are pretty tasty. Did you know there are different kinds of oranges?

_{[He shakes his head.]}

Nuh uh!

Are there really?

Do they taste different?

Kind of, yeah. There's a type called blood orange. Sounds spooky, but it's just the color. It looks red on the inside.

They're pretty tasty.

Blood orange?

Do they taste like blood?

I've tasted blood before.

It's okay.

[...he's tasted blood, too. Multiple times.

That's what happens when you're reckless as hell and haven't quite mastered using your Shield yet.]

Nah, nothing like that. They taste a lot like regular oranges.

[Maybe he should have acted horrified about a small child saying he's tasted blood before. Whoops!]

_{[Judging by his incredibly liberal attitude with regards to the information he shares, Wrath hasn't even remotely begun to develop a sense of what normal people are or aren't horrified to hear yet. FORTUNATELY FOR GREED.]}

Oh, then I'd probably like them.

Oranges are great.

Meat is my favorite, though.

Do you like meat, Dar-yus?

It comes from animals.

[This is very good.

Greed's safe for a little while longer!]

'Course I like meat. Hamburgers and hotdogs, and steak too.

I've had hot dogs!

My friend Ralph says they taste like they're probably made of real dogs. They're pretty tasty, so he's probably right.

_{[Wrath may or may not have missed the point of why Ralph was sarcastically saying they were made of real dogs.]}

[...Wh-]

Kid, I think your friend was joking.

[Otherwise he's going to have to be putting together a shit list of people lying to children in a hurry.]

... Oh.

_{[Sounds like that honestly had not occurred to him.]}

Maybe he was. He does that sometimes.

_{[Now he's frowning, though.]}

But if they're not made of dogs, why are they called hot dogs?

[That is actually a good question.]

You know, I really don't know. Maybe it's slang.

[He pats Wrath on the shoulder, smiling.]

Guess I'll have to find that one out.

Okay!

Tell me if you do.

Cuz now I'm hungry and curious!

[That makes him smirk.]

Y'know, we could go for hot dogs instead.

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