garbagechild | 004. [Video/Action for Rocket HQ]

What a fantastic monster! And what a fitting name!

Isn't she great? Her teeth are so sharp.

_{[He's pretty pleased with the name, too. It took him a whole five seconds to come up with it.]}

Be sure to watch your fingers! I don't believe those types of Pokemon have eyes. She might not know the difference between you and a snack just yet.

Really?

Is THAT why she bites everything?

I thought she was just angry.

_{[... Judging by the way she is literally ripping the scarf apart, she's probably angry too, Wrath.]}

_{[Jack taps his chin thoughtfully.]}

You know, it could very well be a mix of both.

Huh!

I wonder what she's so mad about.

I didn't get too mad until awhile after I'd been born.

Hmmmm, perhaps she's cold. It was probably very warm inside her egg.

Really?

She has so much fur though.

Do you think maybe I should give her a sweater?

_{[He narrows his eyes in thought.]}

...Yes.

_{[IT IS DECIDED.]}

I'm gonna GO GET HER A SWEATER!

[Well, there is one thing that has gotten Kaneki's attention about this video, and that would be the Deino currently chewing on Wrath's scarf. He's done enough nervous research on his own to know that that is indeed probably the Pokemon he thinks it is, though it's coloring is a bit different...he still feels the need to ask.]

Is that a Deino?

Huh?

Oh, I don't know.

I just know she's Mad.

_{[Does this kid even remotely look like he's figured out how to access the Pokedex function of his 'Gear?]}

[WELL IT WAS WORTH A SHOT...]

Do you know what she's so mad about?

_{[Wrath shakes his head.]}

Nuh uh.

She only came out of the rock a couple minutes ago. She's just mad.

She reminds me of me!

I...I see. I heard that they're like that, when they hatch...

[Oh boy, he's got something to look forward to.]

She hasn't...tried attacking you or anything, has she?

Oh, the first thing she did was bite my hand! Look!

_{[He holds up his left hand, which has a bandage messily wrapped around it. He sounds... REALLY CHEERFUL.]}

There was so much blood!

It's okay, though. It turns out blood stops when you put lots of cloth on it.

So I won't bleed to death.

[For just a moment, it looks like Kaneki might be sick. And it certainly does take him a second to try and regain his composure, leaning back a little from his Gear's screen when Wrath brandishes his hand excitedly like it's a battle scar.]

O-oh.

...are you going to be alright...?

Of course! The cloth stops the blood.

So I just have to keep the cloth on forever.

_{[... Yeah, uh... Wrath really doesn't know much about how the human body works in case that wasn't immediately obvious.]}

[...oh dear.]

Well...it will get better. I don't know how badly you were bitten, so you might need stitches...but as long as you keep it clean it should heal.

[Assuming that generally works the same here as it would back home.]

Stitches?

You mean like the things Vernicka has?

_{[... He's talking about Veronica, and he's just sort of... assuming that this guy knows who she is.]}

[Well, it's a good thing that Kaneki has met Veronica before, stitches and all, and can figure out who he's talking about.]

Something like that, yeah. Just on your hand though, and you wouldn't have to always have them or anything.

Oh.

Okay.

Where do I get stitches?

Can you get them at the store?

[Now see, that's a problem, because he actually...doesn't know. He does know that's wrong, though.]

No, you...usually get them at the hospital, but I actually haven't seen any for humans around here yet. But if you want you could probably go to the Pokemon Center and have one of the nurses take a look and see if you need any, just in case.

Oh...

I've been to a Pokemon Center.

There were a lot of ladies with pink hair and I couldn't tell any of them apart, so I got scared and left.

Ah...that is a bit strange, isn't it? They're very nice, though. And helpful.

Do you think you'll go back?

I don't know.

There were so many.

_{[It was really alarming, Kaneki.]}

[ :c ]

Hm...does your hand still hurt pretty badly?

A little!

But not so much now.

The cloth helps.

That's good. I was just going to say...if you want, I wouldn't mind going back to the Center along with you to have it checked out. If you think that might help you feel better.

There were definitely way more than two of the pink-haired ladies.

They'd outnumber us.

It's probably not a good idea.

[Wrath...]

That's alright. I won't make you or anything...but the offer is there.

[He pauses, then continues.]

I...don't think I ever gave you my name before, when you were being chased by that Pokemon. My name's Kaneki.

_{[Hey, he's being practical! Two versus WAY MORE THAN TWO just isn't good odds in any situation!]}

Kuh-nekky?

K'nekky.

Hi, Nekky!

I'm Wrath.

[...IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH...]

Okay then. Um...if you do think you might need any help, or something...you can always message me or call me. I should be nearby...and you wouldn't want your hand getting infected if it doesn't heal properly.

... Infected?

I've heard about that.

Germs make things infected, right?

Mhm, that's right. If you get hurt like that and don't make sure to keep it very clean, it might get infected.

I think you would be okay even if that happened, but...it's not something you want, since it would take even longer for it to get better.

What?

Even longer?

But it already takes so long for things to heal when you're a human!

Mm, unfortunately. Things might work a little differently here, I'm not actually sure yet...but an infection is never something you want to get.

Infections sound horrible.

Yeah, they can get pretty bad if left untreated.

Ah, yes, Deinos tend to do that. That's how they discover new objects, and how they recognize others. Does she have a favorite biting target?

Really?

That would explain why she's biting everything.

I think the scarf must be pretty tasty, because she's biting that a lot.

_{[He looks over his shoulder, to where the little furry dinosaur is shaking the scarf around like a wild animal.]}

... Either that or she really hates it.

...It's somewhat hard to tell which possibility is applicable here.

[But his tone is uncertain, as if he does not find it that hard.]

Thankfully, she's unlikely to break a fang on a scarf. She's not choking you, is she?

What? No. It's long enough that I can have some and she can have some.

I like sharing.

A most admirable quality, and certainly one you'll easily teach her. How well does she listen to you, when she's not busy biting her surroundings?

Listen to me?

Umm....

I don't know.

I haven't told her to do anything.

Never? Perhaps you should try, to see what sort of personality she has.

[Beyond 'likes to bite'.]

Hmm... okay!

Mad!

Mad!

Maaaad!

Come, Mad!

Mad!

Mad Mad Mad.

_{[The Deino does not respond in the slightest, preferring instead to continue thrashing around with the scarf.]}

......Could it be that she does not answer to her name yet?

[He's hoping very very hard that's all it is.]

Um... I guess so.

I didn't know my name until a REAL long time until after I was born.

_{[Of course, that was because no one had given him one till then, but...]}

Truly? Was there no one willing to tell you your name before?

[Surely someone must have known that informaton, even if not a parent...]

No.

_{[It's a simple, almost BLAND answer to what would normally be an emotionally-charged question.]}

Even when I came back, no one gave me a name for awhile.

It's okay, though.

I like my name.

It was worth waiting for.

Even when you-

[That... can imply a thousand different things, and none are simple or pleasant.]

...That's good to hear. Names should be worthy of their bearer, and thus loved by them.

_{[Yeah. It's neither.]}

Yup.

And she reminds me of ME!

So that's why her name is Mad.

I... see.

[He's trying very hard to understand the link between the Pokémon/trainer resemblance and that name. He's failing.]

Perhaps whoever gave us those eggs somehow knew that you'd get along. That might be why you received her.

_{[It would probably help if Wrath actually thought to mention his own name.]}

You think so?

I didn't even see anybody come in!

The egg was just on my bed when I woke up.

[It might! Then again, it's not like Cecil remembered to introduce himself either...]

That's always the case. That was the third Christmas egg we received, but no one has yet managed to catch our mysterious gifter. They must be very talented.

Really?

The third?

Wow!

Next time there's a Christmas, I'll stay up and see who it is!

...I suppose staying up for one night would have very few effects on your health. And if you were helped by a Pokémon with the ability to resist sleep, perhaps you'd be able to catch them.

I didn't NEED to sleep back where I came from.

So I'm pretty used to staying up.

I bet I could do it.

[...That says both a lot and very little.]

Perhaps, but it'd be best if you did not make a habit of it. This world tends to weaken our bodies, to fit its own criteria of normalcy.

_{[Y E P]}

Well, yeah, but...

Aren't you supposed to get better at things by practicing them?

_{[HOW ELSE IS HE GOING TO ELIMINATE THIS BODY'S NEED FOR SLEEP???]}

You are, but each body has its own limits. Needing a certain amount of sleep to properly function is one of those limits, especially for one who is still growing.

[COFFEE. ALL THE COFFEE.]

_{[Dear god NOBODY INTRODUCE THIS CHILD TO COFFEE.]

[Wrath tilts his head.]}

Still growing?

I don't think I'm going to do any more of that.

[Why not? There's no way it could possibly go wrong!]

Truly? You look young enough to still have a few years of growth in you, unless both of your parents were particularly slight and short.

_{[Wrath shrugs.]}

Things like me that change while they get older are really rare.

I was able to do it for awhile but I dunno if it's gonna keep happening.

_{[Every so often, Wrath kind of... forgets to apply the whole 'You're human now' thing to every aspect of his life. He's new at this.]}

[Cecil doesn't forget, luckily. Probably because it's been a long time, and because he lost so little in the first place.]

Everyone is human, here. You appear to be at an age when humans still grow; therefore, it's likely that you have plenty of inches to gain still.

... Oh!

Really?

I guess I wouldn't mind getting a little taller.

It would make things easier to reach.

That it would. It'd also allow you to travel more swiftly, with your longer legs. ...Though it'd still not help with the ledges.

[That is a very important detail that everyone should know.]

Ledges?

_{[In the couple of months that Wrath has been here, he hasn't yet left Goldenrod City.]

[He has no idea what he's in for.]}

[Cosmos have mercy.]

...You've not yet had the... displeasure of dealing with ledges? How lucky.

[How strange.]

They dot most routes, allowing us to quickly travel down... but never up. Dozens have tried; none have succeeded. Many a limb has been broken in the attempt.

Nuh uh.

I've sat on some walls, and one time I found a really steep staircase.

But I was able to climb it. I just had to step real high.

_{[What Cecil's describing sounds weird. Wrath is pretty sure he could climb a ledge!]}

Stepping very high is not a solution in this particular case, I'm sorry to say. Neither are ropes or ladders, for that matter.

[Why yes, he's tried both before.]

That sounds silly.

Even humans can climb things!

I've seen them!

Believe me, I've seen humans climb and jump over much higher obstacles, too. The ledges... I'd almost call them cursed.

Aw, she's so cute! Just be careful what you let her bite, okay?

[Here's hoping Wrath doesn't just...immediately hang up or something.]

_{[No, he won't hang up. He does, however, give his head a sort of haughty toss. He won't ignore his enemies-- it's obvious that he CAN'T. It's a small world. But he doesn't have to be nice.]}

She's not cute, she's fierce and strong.

I bet she could beat any of yours.

_{[Yes, because a baby dinosaur ferociously wrestling a scarf is clearly going to be a battling prodigy.]}

No one said those are mutually exclusive.

[Al lets out a soft chuckle and shakes his head. Well, Lisa was picking fights the moment she popped out of her shell, so...]

She's only level one right now, Wrath. I've been training mine for quite a while now. But I bet when you do train her she'll be really strong.

Level one? What does that mean?

_{[GUESS WHO HASN'T LEARNED JACK ABOUT ACTUAL POKEMON TRAINING]}

[Let Al teach u a thing, Wrath.]

It's how you measure the strength of Pokemon. When they're just born they only have one level, but if you train them in battles they get stronger and stronger until they have one hundred levels. They also learn new abilities too, like to breathe fire or blast their opponents with water.

Oh yeah?

_{[The cogs in his head are whirring away. FUZZY DRAGON DAUGHTER IS GONNA BE THE STRONGEST, he's decided.]}

Well, then I'll teach Mad to breathe fire AND water!

I'm sure you will! You might need to get a technical machine for it, but Deino are Dragon type so Mad should be able to learn some really great moves.

[...really, he probably shouldn't be teaching the feral child how to make his Pokemon into a battling monstrosity, but it doesn't feel right leaving Wrath completely clueless.]

_{[There is a strong chance you will regret this later, Al.]

[... Well, if Wrath's paranoid suspicion doesn't get in the way.]}

What's a technical machine?

All machines are technical.

That doesn't make sense.

You're trying to trick me.

[Yeeeeah, he should have expected that.]

No, people in this world just suck at naming things. They're called TMs for short, and they're these little disks that somehow [He gestures with a grimace for 'I know this is completely insane but that's how it is' emphasis,] if you break it over a Pokemon's head and they can learn the move that's on the disk, they'll learn it. I've used them before, but it's still really weird.

If you don't believe me you could ask someone at the department store. They sell TMs there, but they keep them all in cases since they're pretty expensive.

_{[Wrath bristles for a moment longer... then relaxes. A little. Because oh, okay, that sort of makes sense.]}

I went to the department store once and they told me I had to leave.

They did? Hm. Did they say why?

[He can think of so many reasons, but he's more curious if they just chucked him out or he got himself into trouble first.]

Something about Pokemon without trainers not being allowed in the store.

_{[When you're so filthy and unkempt that you're mistaken for a soot-covered Tangela by Goldenrod Department Store employees... it's bad.]}

[That just...gets a very long sigh out of Al.]

Well, if you wanna go check things out, I can come with you so they don't try to kick you out like that again. [And maybe try to clean him up a bit beforehand...]

What?

Yuck!

I'm not goin' anywhere with you!

_{[Wrath continues to rebuff Al's eternally-patient attempts at friendship: news at 11.]}

[And no one was surprised. Least of all Al, who shrugs in response.]

I figured I'd offer. Let me know if you ever change your mind.

I'm not gonna change my mind.

If I see you again, I'm gonna let Mad bite you as much as she wants.

[SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.]

I'm sure you will.

[..Huh, so that's what happened to that trubbish.

Veronica was admittedly a little concerned herself. Kid you're going to lose a finger. Are there even doctors for humans in this world.]

Uhh...

[She is concerned for your safety but she doesn't know how to exactly express that, so yeah confused silence. Sorry, Wrath.]

Oh!

Hi Vernicka!

Do you like my fuzzy bitelizard?

Her name is Mad.

_{[You said that in the original video, Wrath.]}

Uhh, hey... Wrath.

[At least he remembered her name this time. hmm.]

Bitelizard...? [She gave the baby pokemon a glance. It seemed... aptly named.]

That's nice, I guess. Did she come from an egg?

An egg?

Is that what the rock she came out of is called?

Uh... yeah, it is.

[.....]

You don't know what an egg is?

No.

I like the word 'egg' though. It's nice to say.

Egg.

An egg is... [She frowns.] It's... an egg comes from birds usually...

[Crap. She can't explain this like Fran can.]

I guess all Pokemon lay eggs though. It's so weird...

So rocks come from birds?

All animals can make rocks?

I'm confused.

An egg isn't a rock! It's...

[.... More silence, which lead to even more gesturing with her hands. Honestly, she's not even sure what she's trying to say anymore.]

...It's an egg.

_{[He tilts his head to the side.]}

... But what is an egg?

[She almost mimics the action, but catches herself.]

Eggs normally come from birds. They have baby animals inside them.

[There's a lot of gesturing going on here. Veronica really wasn't sure how to explain it.]

And usually, only birds have eggs, but everything here does too, and I don't know how that makes sense...

I don't understand. Where do the rocks come from?

Birds are so small.

And eggs are so big and hard!

_{[... Tread very carefully, Veronica. There are so many ways that this could turn into trying to explain the birds and the bees to this awful undead monster child AND YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.]}

N-no, you see... the rocks come from...

[It is around this time that Veronica realizes what she's trying to say. It is not something she had ever thought about explaining at any point in her life. It is not something she EVER wanted TO explain.

And she was just about to do just that.]

...I-I... uhh...

[There is almost literally smoke coming out of her ears as the bodyguard attempts to think her way out of this.]

Edited 2015-03-16 20:16 (UTC)

_{[Wrath is not helping.]

[He is staring at her earnestly and expectantly.]

[8(?]}

[Dammit.

And now her face is turning red. Dammit. Dammit.

Deep breath....]

Uhh, how about I tell you some other time, okay, Wrath?

Oh...

Okay.

_{[He sounds a little disappointed. 8( HOW DO THE ROCKS GET INSIDE THE BIRDS?????? AND HOW DO LITTLE BIRDS GET INSIDE OF THOSE ROCKS???? THESE ARE QUESTIONS THAT HE MAY NEVER KNOW THE ANSWER TO.]}

Uhh, I'm sorry....

[DONT MAKE HER FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS, WRATH.

God what is happening to her, why does she feel bad.]

I'll, uh, tell you next time we meet. Like, in person.

Okay.

I guess I can wait.

Thank you.

[BREATHES A SIGH OF RELIEF]

"Mad," huh? Cute name.

[Yes, he's serious.

Hi, Wrath. It's been a while since Greed checked in on you.]

Hi, Daryus!

She's not cute, she's strong and fierce! Like me!

_{[HE IS SO PROUD OF HIS DRAGON DAUGHTER. She's already shredded the end of the scarf to tatters.]}

[He might want one of those...

It can be friends with Bido in the "bites everything" club.]

Of course she is.

[The smile is actually not the least bit sarcastic.]

When you say that, it means I have to know how tough you are, you know.

_{[Holding the 'Gear in one hand, Wrath flops onto his side without a care and tugs idly on the scarf as Mad growls and thrashes on the other end.]}

Oh, I'm real tough.

I fight all the time back home.

I'm pretty much the best fighter ever.

[...Wrath, you're like eight years old. He's not very threatened by you.]

Are you now? That makes you pretty clever, I'd wager.

Yup, that too. Mommy says I'm both.

_{[Sloth had also called him 'sweet' after she'd watched him literally behead somebody, so... both of those could honestly be taken with a grain of salt.]}

[There's a brief moment where Greed looks very, very unsettled. (Oh dear god, don't let him be talking about Dante.) It's gone by the time he speaks, replaced with a mild look.]

Good for you, Wrath. Where are you right now?

I have a knack for getting along Pokemon with huge teeth, you see.

_{[Don't worry, Greed. If Wrath ever tried to refer to Dante as 'Mommy', she would probably shut him down very soundly.]

[If Wrath notices Greed's unsettled expression, though, he doesn't say anything about it. Instead, he takes on an unsure look, himself.]}

Um... it's a secret.

But I could go somewhere NOT secret, and then tell you!

_{[Wrath did you learn nothing about stranger danger from the time an ambiguously-gendered person in questionable clothing handed you a bunch of rocks and told you to eat them]}

[...Wrath, honey.

There are so many ways this was a wrong response.]

Sure, let's meet somewhere not secret. That's for the best, right?

Are you in Goldenrod?

_{[H-he's trying, okay?]

[Team Rocket gives way more liberties than serving Master had, and Wrath is still sort of navigating how to handle those.]}

Ahuh.

I go out sometimes and the buildings are all yellow, so that's a pretty good name.

Should I bring Mad?

[Greed will just go on pretending to be rock stupid, then! He's not about to out Wrath. Maybe he'll eventually tell him not to talk about things in such a way, but Greed also doesn't want to forbid Wrath from doing anything.]

Sure, bring Mad. I'll bring someone interesting, too. How's that?

Okay!

Mad's never been outside before! I bet she'll be so excited.

Where should we meet?

How about outside of the Pokemon Center?

[He has no idea where Team Rocket's HQ is located, so hopefully it's not anywhere near the Center!]

Okay!

_{[He's VERY SUNNY about the prospect of a friend! Asking him to meet them somewhere! Humans do this stuff all the time.]

[He's finally starting to fit in!]}

See you, byyyye!

_{[And then he disappears. He didn't ask WHEN they should meet, so he's apparently just... going over there immediately.]}

[Wh...

You know what, that's probably a good sign, all things considered.

So off he goes to look for Wrath since the kid doesn't really have a concept of stranger danger, and he doesn't want the kid hurt.]

_{[When he gets there, he'll probably be relieved to see that Wrath doesn't seem to be any form of hurt, outside of the bandage around one hand where the little Deino apparently bit him.]

[He does, however, happen to be hanging upside-down from his knees from the nearest lamp-post, idly swinging the baby Deino 'over' his head, where it is snapping ineffectively at the hats of passersby.]

[Beside Wrath, his Zubat is also hanging from the post.]

[Both look happy as clams.]}

[It's a damn good thing the kid hasn't gotten into any trouble. Not real trouble, anyway. Swinging from the lamp post might get him yelled at by someone who isn't Greed, but as Greed is the one to find him, he approaches Wrath like this is perfectly normal behavior.]

Having fun, kiddo?

_{[He beams down at Greed happily, swaying from his perch.]}

Ahuh!

So is Mad!

_{[Mad does not look like she's having fun. Mad kind of looks like she wants to savagely dismember something. Fortunately, she's only Level 1.]}

[He'll be avoiding those jaws, thanks.]

How about you come down from there? I'll buy you a bagel or something.

[And he sort of... reaches out as if to catch Wrath without really being conscious of it.]

Okay.

_{[Perhaps fortunately, he either didn't notice Greed's outstretched hands or just.... doesn't know what it's like to have someone catch him in midair, because he swings his legs off the pole, twists like a cat, and lands on his feet with a thump.]

[Then immediately bounces back upright, swinging the Deino into the air as she makes a grumpy croaking noise.]}

What's a bagel?

[Honestly, it's for the best. That way, Greed doesn't get surprised and neither does Wrath! At the question he smirks, like seeing a little boy twist around in the air like a cat is perfectly normal.

...actually it probably is to him.]

You've never had a bagel? They're these round, chewy bread things. They're great as sandwiches.

Oh!

I don't eat bread.

It's full of snakes, you know!

_{[... Yeah, you can thank Cecil Palmer for telling Wrath that consuming wheat products would turn him into a malevolent spirit.[}

...eh? Who the hell told you that? They were lying to you.

[Seriously. Who the would tell a kid something like that?]

It was a man with glasses and dark hair! He wasn't too short or tall or too fat or too skinny and he was handing out colorful bits of paper.

Bread turns you into a malevolent spirit and makes plasma come out of your nose.

_{[A pause.]}

... Well. That's what he said.

[It's fortunate that Greed has no idea who Wrath is referring to, because it keeps a certain radio announcer from having his face punched in.]

That wasn't very nice of him.

You're not going to turn into an evil spirit, okay? Your friend Darius will show you.

Hm...

_{[Wrath squints up at Greed briefly, scrunching his nose thoughtfully.]}

... I guess I'll try it.

But if there's any snakes in there, you can keep the bay-gle.

[Greed tries very hard not to laugh, because the idea of there being snakes in bagels is absurd. But Wrath is the poor kid who doesn't have a clue how the world works, and it's entirely not his fault.

He moves to pat the kid on the shoulder right-handedly.]

Come on, it's not too far from here.

[If Wrath looks like he's going to follow, Greed will lead the way.]

_{[It's TOTALLY absurd. But yeah-- the only human food Wrath had any experience with had quite literally just been MEAT. Fresh-caught fish yoinked from the Elrics' campfire and, later, juicy, equally-fresh barbeque.]

[And then Envy had shown up and ruined everything, and Wrath's stint trying to live like a human had ended there.]

[Needless to say, there are LOTS of different kinds of human food and every single one of them is a brand new experience.]

[He trots along at Greed's side perfectly willingly, holding the Deino like a stuffed animal.]}

Can we get food for Mad too? She didn't like the carrots I brought her earlier.

I don't like carrots either, though.

That's another way Mad and me are alike.

Of course.

[Deinos probably eat meat or something, right? He's not sure if a bakery would have much in the way of delicious things for a carnivore, but maybe it'll have a ham sandwich or something.]

I'm sure the place has something nice for Mad to eat, and I'm not gonna make you eat carrots.

_{[No one's forced Wrath to eat anything yet, and it's good to know that it won't start with his new buddy Darius! Wrath beams chipperly as he walks along. AND THEN STARTS TO CHATTER.]}

Good!

Carrots aren't tasty at all.

They're also orange.

Orange isn't a tasty color, unless it's actually an orange.

Did you know that orange is both a color AND a fruit?

I found that out awhile ago!

Actual orange fruits are pretty good.

[Naturally, these are all things he knows about, though he likes carrots. Still, he's trying not to be a condescending dickbag to Wrath because someone has to keep an eye on the kid.

If the other homunculi won't do it, he will.]

Is it, now? Learn something new every day.

Oranges are pretty tasty. Did you know there are different kinds of oranges?

_{[He shakes his head.]}

Nuh uh!

Are there really?

Do they taste different?

Kind of, yeah. There's a type called blood orange. Sounds spooky, but it's just the color. It looks red on the inside.

They're pretty tasty.

Blood orange?

Do they taste like blood?

I've tasted blood before.

It's okay.

[...he's tasted blood, too. Multiple times.

That's what happens when you're reckless as hell and haven't quite mastered using your Shield yet.]

Nah, nothing like that. They taste a lot like regular oranges.

[Maybe he should have acted horrified about a small child saying he's tasted blood before. Whoops!]

_{[Judging by his incredibly liberal attitude with regards to the information he shares, Wrath hasn't even remotely begun to develop a sense of what normal people are or aren't horrified to hear yet. FORTUNATELY FOR GREED.]}

Oh, then I'd probably like them.

Oranges are great.

Meat is my favorite, though.

Do you like meat, Dar-yus?

It comes from animals.

[This is very good.

Greed's safe for a little while longer!]

'Course I like meat. Hamburgers and hotdogs, and steak too.

I've had hot dogs!

My friend Ralph says they taste like they're probably made of real dogs. They're pretty tasty, so he's probably right.

_{[Wrath may or may not have missed the point of why Ralph was sarcastically saying they were made of real dogs.]}

[...Wh-]

Kid, I think your friend was joking.

[Otherwise he's going to have to be putting together a shit list of people lying to children in a hurry.]

... Oh.

_{[Sounds like that honestly had not occurred to him.]}

Maybe he was. He does that sometimes.

_{[Now he's frowning, though.]}

But if they're not made of dogs, why are they called hot dogs?

[That is actually a good question.]

You know, I really don't know. Maybe it's slang.

[He pats Wrath on the shoulder, smiling.]

Guess I'll have to find that one out.

Okay!

Tell me if you do.

Cuz now I'm hungry and curious!

[That makes him smirk.]

Y'know, we could go for hot dogs instead.

_{[Wrath's eyes widen.]}

--Really?

CAN we?!

_{[OH BOY]}

[Greed already has developed a nasty habit of being unable to say no. This just makes it worse.]

Come on, I know a place. It's not far.

[And indeed it's not. Greed leads Wrath to a small, quiet diner.]

Try not to harass the patrons too much.

_{[It doesn't help that Wrath is pretty damn hard to say no to.]

[Pleased as punch, Wrath bobbles along after Greed until they get to the diner, at which point he lingers by the door a little. He's been to diners before-- post-mission refueling sessions. But he's also gotten kicked out of at least one for disruptive behavior.]

[Orders is orders, though, so Greed's suggestion is all he needs as permission to enter.]

[He scrambles over to one of the stools by the counter, climbing onto it.]}

Can we get the soft yellow twigs, too?

_{[.... he's talking about french fries.]}

[You know, Greed considers this a very good day. He can't say no to the kid, sure, but he'll work on that eventually. Until then, Greed's fairly pleased with the situation. This way he can get to know Wrath a little more and keep an eye on the kid for the rest of the homunculi, and he can keep an eye on the kid himself, something he honestly prefers without his old eyes and ears.

He watches carefully to see the kid settling down. He's good at following orders, and while that might be Dante's fault, Greed can't help but feel a little grateful for it right now.]

...soft yellow twigs?

[Greed's brows raise as he sits down next to Wrath, and it's a moment before he smiles, realizing what the kid's talking about.]

Sure, of course.

_{[Dante might have done a lot of damage, but well, it had made him somewhat easier to handle if you knew what you were doing.]

[Which Greed, being one of the oldest of them all, does.]

[The boy grins broadly when his request is okayed. If he were a dog, his tail would be wagging. He sets the growling Deino down in his lap like a stuffed animal and brushes his hair back a little so that the Zubat perched on his head has more room to sit.]}

I like those things.

They're salty and taste much better than the kinds of twigs you find outside.

[...the implication of Wrath eating twigs isn't lost on Greed.]

They're much better for you than the twigs you find outside, too.

[Because they're actually food. Homunculi can't get away with eating nothing here in Johto after all.]

_{[HEY, HE SPENT AT LEAST A FEW WEEKS RUNNING AROUND NAKED ON AN ISLAND. THERE WERE A LOT OF THINGS THAT WENT INTO HIS MOUTH THAT SHOULDN'T GO INTO MOUTHS!]}

Good!

I bet Mad will like them.

She's a baby so she needs soft things. Right?

[...honestly that thing looks like it prefers meat, but he doesn't think that Mad will be picky. At least his own Pokemon never are.]

Sure, I'm sure she'll appreciate the food.

Mmhm! Everybody appreciates food.

Or if they don't, everybody SHOULD.

Food is pretty great.

[And that's something he can agree on. He didn't know much about eating before becoming human, but now that he's human...

Well, he likes eating, that's for sure. Greed can't quite mask the way his eyes brighten.]

Lots of places to eat at around here, that's for sure.

Yeah!

A bit ago, I got to go to a place with a big colorful picture of a pink cow on the front, and I got to eat a thing called a brr-grr.

_{[He swings his legs a little bit as he elaborates on this fabled food.]}

It was really good, but since I didn't eat the bread, it got kinda messy.

_{[Most of it had wound up ON him instead of IN him.]}

[...Wrath, why wouldn't you eat the bread?]

Any reason you didn't eat the bread with your burger?

_{[Wrath looks up at Greed matter-of-factly.]}

It's full of snakes, remember?

_{[GOSH GREED, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS!]}

[...no Greed, the response to this isn't "but baking would kill the snakes."

Thankfully he manages to keep himself from saying that little tidbit.]

Bread isn't full of snakes. I've told you that before.

_{[Bread being full of DEAD snakes would still be pretty alarming, Greed.]

[In any case, Wrath sniffs slightly, shrugging and rocking the Deino in his lap.]}

Better safe than sorry.

_{[Where the hell did he pick THAT one up? It certainly hadn't come from his OWN inner vault of worldly phrases.]}

[Greed's head tilts.]

Where'd you hear that from?

[Maybe it's too obvious of a question; Dante was much too cautious and calculating to ever say something like that.]

Hm?

OH!

My friend Ralph says that sometimes.

Usually when I ask him things. Like why I should always knock on closed doors before going in.

[..well, it's good advice as far as Greed's concerned. He's not a particularly cautious guy, but if it keeps Wrath out of trouble...]

Sounds like Ralph knows his stuff to me.

Oh yes!

Ralph is real smart.

He teaches me lots of things! Like what germs are, and which buttons not to press on the fizzy water machine.

[Ralph might not be someone Greed knows, but he seems like he knows his stuff. At the very least he knows it well enough to keep Wrath from getting into too much trouble. Greed can't watch the kid all the time, so this is as good as he's gonna get.]

He sounds like it.

[Looks like Wrath isn't the only one in the base with a Deino out and about today! Rideaux has his own (though normally colored) Deino trotting at his side, though he looks to be watching it very carefully as they go along. It's the first time that he's allowed Deva to walk around on his own, having spent quite a while attempting to train him to not bite or attack everything in the vicinity.

Deva's actually doing fairly well...until he senses another of his kind, that is.

Without warning, the Deino begins snarling and rushes in the direction of the other Deino and her trainer.]

Wh- Deva! Get back here this instant!

[Cursing under his breath, he darts after the Dragon before he can do any real damage.

Well, this is already a trainwreck. He swears, Deva is never coming out of his Pokeball for non-battles again.]

Edited (fixed some bad phrasing considering Deinos being blind lol) 2015-03-05 05:03 (UTC)

_{[Wrath is happily playing tug-of-war with the little Deino when she suddenly drops the scarf and 'looks' over her shoulder, nose quivering and jowls lifting to expose her fangs.]

[She's just a baby, though, so despite the menacing growl that rattles up in her throat, if Deva actually attacks her... yeah that's gonna be a one-sided fight.]

[Wrath looks up, too.]}

Mad, what's wro-- whoa!

[Thankfully, Rideaux is able to catch up and grab Deva before he's able to do any damage. He holds the snarling and snapping Deino by the scruff of his neck, lightly shaking him with anger.]

What did we spend weeks training in order to avoid? Situations like this. Honestly, you are beyond hope.

[He then kind of realizes that he should probably say something to the kid and his own Deino.

...]

He didn't get at either of you, did he?

_{[Wrath shakes his head and watches in fascination, not bothering to hold back his OWN bristling dragon baby... but as angry as she is, she's just a hatchling, and isn't quite ready to go biting the ankles of fully-grown men yet.]}

Yours is blue.

Do they come in all different colors?

[Good on Mad- it's...probably not in her best interest to bite at Rideaux's ankles, for everyone involved really.

It's when Wrath points it out that Rideaux makes note of the clear color differences between Deva and Mad. Huh...that's interesting.]

I've seen three others of these things, and they've all been blue. I've never heard of a green one before- it would be truly unfortunate if yours had an illness or something.

[...SAYS THE DOCTOR.

He's fairly sure he knows what's going on here, though. But he's curious to see how the kid reacts.]

_{[Indeed it isn't. The avocado-green dinosaur scuttles behind her pint-sized trainer and pokes her head out, still baring her teeth.]

[Wrath, on the other hand, goes from looking earnest and generally perky, to stricken in the space of two seconds.]}

Illness?

Pokemon can get sick?

[...Oh wow, this is getting even better.]

Of course they can. Why do you think Pokemon Centers exist? They don't only treat injured Pokemon- sometimes our little monsters fall ill too.

_{[Rideaux you're awful]}

I-- I didn't know-- from germs? Can they get sick from germs?

_{[Because oh no. He had LOTS of germs. Ralph had told him so. What if he was making his Pokemon sick???]}

[THAT'S NOT A FALSE STATEMENT...]

Of course. That's how some illnesses are born, by the spread of harmful bacteria. Though I don't believe that is what your Deino is suffering from. I don't hear about too many viral infections that cause complete color change.

No, I believe this is something much different.

[...He's going to come clean and just tell the kid soon but he's enjoying this way too much at the moment.]

_{[YOU SADIST.]

[Fortunately for Rideaux, Wrath has literally no Bullshit Radar to speak of, so he doesn't even remotely suspect that he's being messed with.]}

Wh-- then... then what's wrong with her?

Is she gonna be okay?

Will Mad be okay?

[Rideaux makes another glance at Mad, then to the still-snapping Deva in his hand. The look on his face is grim, like he's about to deliver some devastating news.

...but then he just smiles. Well, it's more of a smirk than a smile, but it's still a positive thing either way.]

She'll be fine. Her color is probably just a rare difference rather than anything harmful. I have a Pokemon who is a color he's not supposed to be too, and he's fine.

[...he's honestly really amused at how well that went.]

_{[For a second, Wrath continues to look sort of panicky.]

[Then it fades into relief.]}

--She'll be fine?

She'll be fine!

_{[Oh happy day!]

[.... WAIT A MINUTE.]}

--Then why'd you say you thought she was sick?!

[Okay, now it's definitely a smug as hell smirk on his face. He may have even chuckled a bit for added effect of how much of a jerk he is.]

Because I can't just rule out the possibility. I did say it's probably not harmful, but you never know.

[It's at this point that he plops the thoroughly-shaken Deva back on the ground. He's behaving well enough at this point, though he's still snorting and growling a bit. He doesn't have much time to do that though because Rideaux recalls him back into his Pokeball shortly after.]

I'd watch her just to be safe, but I wouldn't fear the worst.

_{[Okay, now that Wrath isn't worrying for the life of HIS CHILD, he's picking up a little more on that 'smug asshole' vibe. His mouth curls into a small frown.]

[The shiny Deino, meanwhile, scoots behind Wrath and peeks out, still snorting and baring her teeth.]}

Well, I won't then, I guess.

[Oh, what's this now? Is that a little bit of discontent he's witnessing?

He's so hurt, really. But he is watching that Deino closely, just in case.]

Good. I would hate to have an actual illness go untreated if it did actually crop up.

[He sounds totally concerned.]

_{[Reaching around, Wrath scoops up the baby dragon and squeezes her protectively, scowling.]}

I don't think she's sick.

...oh, no, she is really cute! I think you should embellish her name a little, though. It's a good start, but you could give it a little pizzazz!

Pizzazz?

_{[He's never heard that word before.]}

What's that mean?

Uh... you know, flair? Being really awesome?

[OH RIGHT, SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH THIS CHILD]

Oh!

_{[That makes sense! Fortunately, Wrath catches onto things quick if they're explained using small words.]}

Maybe her name could be Mad Pizzaz.

Is that a good name?

Hmmm... I dunno! That's got an interesting ring to it, but I think if you wanted to go for the feeling you were going for, you could name her Pizzazz the Mad. If you make it like a title, it makes her seem cooler!

Mm... I dunno.

I like the name Mad.

I think she's plenty cool just the way she is.

Well, hey, if it works for her and it works for you, there's no problem! It's gonna work out just fine for you.

I think it will!

_{[At this point, the Deino has wandered over to one of his discarded socks and started shaking it around like a wild animal.]

[Wrath reaches over to scoop her up, getting a growl for his efforts.]}

If she's a baby, does this make me her daddy?

I never thought I'd have a daughter.

But I guess if I was ever gonna have one, this is exactly what I'd want.

_{[QUADRUPEDAL, FURRY, MADE OF SHARP EDGES, AND ANGRY AT THE WORLD.]}

Yeah, it totally does!

[oh no, this is cute.]

So remember, be an excellent role model for your little girl and make sure she grows up right!

Or at least grows up cool, because that's the important thing.

_{[Wrath BEAMS.]}

I'm gonna teach her so many things.

Like how you're only supposed to eat what's INSIDE the shiny wrappers that are on things you get from the vending machine!

...ooooh, yeah. That's a pretty easy mistake to make, especially if you don't have eyes and you're a Pokemon.

Yeah.

I made that mistake and I HAVE eyes!

... And also I'm not a Pokemon.

[...That sure is a scruffy looking kid with a very angry dragon.

Riku's lips twitch upward. He's trying so hard not to either laugh or melt at the comical cuteness of this display.]

Mad, huh? But what about when she's happy?

[It's said lightly, just a bit of a tease.]

_{[Wrath doesn't seem bothered at all by the teasing tone, if he picks up on it at all. His own is perfectly earnest.]}

Well, just 'cause her name's Mad doesn't mean she can't be happy!

My name's Wrath but I'm not always wrathful. Only sometimes.

Heh, well, Wrath's a pretty cool name, anyway. Sounds tough, threatening... Fits right in with that Deino of yours.

[Though really, he seems more adorable than imposing, not that Riku intends to say it aloud. Makes him wonder about his parents, though.

Ah, if only he knew the truth.]

_{[ALAS, RIKU. IF ONLY YOU KNEW.]}

Yup.

I like my name.

I am pretty tough and threatening, so it suits me.

And Mad is tough and threatening, too!

_{[Ignoring the way she snaps at his fingers, he plucks her up off the ground and holds her up so that Riku can be treated to her full majesty.]}

Look how big her teeth are!

[He whistles at the sight of those chompers. Might be small, but they're still impressive.]

And they'll get even bigger when she evolves. You ever see a Hydreigon before?

Nuh uh.

What's a hi-draygun?

Is it as fierce and cool as Mad is?

They're just like her, only bigger. And did I mention they've got three heads?

[Grinning, he takes a quick look over his shoulder.]

I can show you, if you want.

_{[Wrath's eyes go about as wide and sparkly as your average moe upon being informed that their senpai has, in fact, noticed them. Except in his case, it's over being informed that there is an extremely large monster with three heads and that he's going to be allowed to see it.]}

Really?

BIGGER?

And you can show me?

I wanna see!

I'm on it.

[He pokes his head into the hall and whistles. There's a low grumble in response before a big, three-headed dragon flaps his way into the room.

Unlike Mad, he's blue instead of gtreen, but there's definitely a similar motif to his appearance.]

It takes a while for Deinos to evolve, but when they do, they turn into total powerhouses. Keep up on your training, and you'll be in for a treat.

_{[If Riku thought this kid's eyes couldn't get any bigger.... well, he'd be wrong. Because at the sight of the hydra, they only widen MORE.]}

She's-- she's gonna look like that?!

WOW.

WOW!!

[Aww. Darn it, he must persevere! He mustn't melt in the face of this adorable kid, even though it's so... hard... not to.

His smile softens despite his best effort, and he lets out a hushed laugh, while his Hydreigon gives a curious grunt and starts sniffing the camera.]

That's right. And she won't just be tough; she'll be big enough to ride on. Then you can travel in style.

_{[Wrath is indeed pretty damn cute for a homicidal undead baby-- he'll surely shatter that impression at some point, but Johto has definitely succeeded at bringing out the childlike wonder in him a lot more strongly than the bitter bloodthirst.]

[There's not a whole lot in this place to be bitter or bloodthirsty about.]

[Least of all awesome three-headed dragons.]

[Wrath beams sunnily at Riku, positively dazzled.]}

Really?!

I've never ridden an animal before!

And she'll be able to fly?

Wow!

Yep. You'll have to get the HM for it first, but once you do, the sky's literally the limit. Makes traveling a million times easier, too.

[It's said with a casual wave of the hand. To Riku, it's all second nature. He's been around the block and back, and he'd like to think he knows most of what this world has to offer.

That he can inspire this much excitement's an added plus.]

_{[Pretty much everything is exciting for Wrath. Even the mundane things that have nothing to do with Pokemon.]}

I used to be able to jump real high but I guess that's not the same thing as flying.

What's an ech-emm?

[Huh, so he doesn't know? Well, might as well show the kid. Give him a second, and he'll pluck one of those discs out of his pocket.]

They're these weird discs. You break them over your Pokémon's heads, and they pick up the move. You just need badges to use them outside of battles.

You break them?

What are badges?

Are they like badgers?

I had to fight with a badger once. It won.

_{[That had been before he'd known what he could do and had just been a naked kid running around on an island.]}

[...He doesn't know what badges are, either? Riku's eyes widen, and then he stuffs his hand down his pocket to pull out his badge case.

He sets the HM down before opening the case to show off sixteen shimmering badges.]

They're nothing like badges. They're more like pins, and they prove you're one of the toughest trainers around.

Edited 2015-04-07 17:19 (UTC)

_{[Wrath's eyes grow large at the sight of the glimmering pins set in velvet.]

[He has never seen anything so shiny in his life. The closest he came was when he wandered into the Goldenrod Department Store, but he was escorted out long before ever getting close to the jewelry section.]}

Whoa!

They're bright!

Like what you see?

[Heh. Well, he'll hold them out a bit longer, just so the kid can get a good look. It's kinda charming how excited he's getting.]

Well, you can get your own if you take on the Gym Leaders. Just takes a bit of work to get there.

I like bright things!

_{[They sparkle in the light almost like the red stones he'd been fed back home.]}

I bet I could beat Gym Leaders. Mama is very strong. I saw her pick up a very fat man with one hand.

_{[Another Grunt had confronted him in the cafeteria for having taken the last pudding cup, and the Kangaskhan had intervened immediately.]}

And what kinda Pokémon is she? A Kangaskhan? Marowak?

[The former makes the most sense, but then, Cubones did have mommy issues. And even then, there are plenty of other 'mons that could fill a maternal role.]

Oh. Um.

She has a pouch and a baby.

_{[Kangaskhan it is, then.]}

[Why does this small child have what looks like a VERY POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS POKEMON?

DAD MODE PHOENIX, TO THE RESCUE.]

H-Hey, now...it might be a good idea to train her how not to bite.

Edited 2015-03-07 10:00 (UTC)

Why?

How else will she get people to leave her alone when she doesn't want to be touched?

Biting works better than most other things.

Or that's what I'VE found, anyway.

_{[... Yeah.]}

[That is not a healthy coping mechanism. Phoenix tries to phrase this as carefully as he can. This child seems...odd.]

She could always growl, or use her body language. For you, if you were to tell someone "no, don't touch me!", I'm sure they would listen. And if they don't, well, then they're probably not a very nice person.

[Or they're just invasive.]

Oh. Really?

That doesn't usually work.

Biting is much better.

I think I'll stick with that.

_{[... Yeah, Phoenix, Wrath has literally never experienced the phenomenon of being able to set his own personal boundaries and have them respected without enforcing them with physical violence. Such a thing sounds odd and quaint!]}

Generally, yes.

[Well that's a little upsetting. Phoenix feels a big sort of empathy for the poor kid. He doesn't know what sort of upbringing could have constituted that kind of worldview, but his lawyer dad instincts are already going a little haywire.]

It doesn't sound like you've been around very nice people.

_{[He takes a moment to think about that.]}

... No, I guess not.

Most people aren't very nice.

That's the thing about people.

_{[He says this... very matter-of-factly.]}

Maybe so. There ARE still some good people out there, though; I've seen them for myself.

Have you met any here? Good people, that is.

[He, uh. Really hopes so.]

Hm.

I guess I've met some nice people.

I'm not so good at counting yet... at least five.

Five nice people.

_{[Actually, he's met more than five nice people. It's just that he only has five fingers on each hand to count with, you see.]}

[Well, that could be...worse.]

Five isn't bad. Five is something, right?

[Gotta appreciate the...little things! Yes. Definitely.]

Five is good!

Five is a big number.

Five is better than four, and four is better than none, right?

I hope you'll meet lots of nice people here. Even more than five.

004. [Video/Action for Rocket HQ]

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