008. [Text / Action]

[garbagechild]

[TEXT]

<sub>[GOOD MORNING, JOHTO!]

[THERE'S A PICTURE IN YOUR INBOX.]</sub>

>>open file: gone.jpg



if u hav seen them mesg rath pls

thank

[ACTION]

<sub>[Are you in Goldenrod City or its surrounding territories?]

[Then YOU JUST MIGHT HAVE THE LUCK to be approached by a small child in increasingly-grubby conditions as the day goes on. You'd think he'd have learned his lesson about approaching strangers by this point, but if he has, it's not stopping him.]

[He will approach anyone and everyone who stops long enough to make eye contact, but instead of challenging you to a Pokemon battle, he will instead thrust the image above, finger-painted on a scrap of filthy paper rather than a crappy .jpg at you. He's still got paint on his fingers. Maybe his beseeching puppydog-blue eyes (the most pitiful ones he can MANAGE) will outweigh the unintentionally-horrifying nature of the three portraits.]

[8( WELL?]

[HAVE YOU SEEN THEM?]</sub>

Comments

[Text]

[callbacks]

nah my name is dave
though allfonz sounds like an awesome name and one i might take under consideration if i ever feel the need for some kind of alternate identity

[Text]

[garbagechild]

NO!!!!

U CANT HAV ALLFONZ NAME IT IS HIS

<sub>[Pardon Wrath, the last time he had to come up with anything involving alternate identities, his response was to panic and yell "ANGRY! ... I mean, TIM!"]

[And for reasons he's not quite a sophisticated-enough thinker to grasp yet, he doesn't like the idea of more than one person having the same name. It's troubling.]

[No one tell him that there are definitely other people out there with the name 'Alphonse'.]</sub>

[Text]

[callbacks]

whoa dude ok i get it
please locate your nearest chill dispenser and pop a few dozen before you blow a blood vessel or something
no identity theft for dave we have all learned a lesson today

[Text]

[garbagechild]

I DONT KNO WAT A CHIL DISPNSDR IS

_{[He may or may not have turned on the capslock and not actually know how to turn it back off.]}

HOW DO I KNO IF THER IS 1 NEAREST TO ME

[Text]

[callbacks]

i just want you to know i read that as child dispenser instead of chill dispenser and almost gave you advice that would righteously piss off every plus sized lady in a fifty mile radius
the tales of your instantaneous annihilation by sheer panties crapping fury would have been legendary
but anyway you know those soda vending machines?

[Text]

[garbagechild]

WHAT

I WAS JUST TYPNG WAT U SAYD!!!

U KEEP SAYING WORDS THAT I DONT KNO WHAT THEY MEAN

_{[Poor Dave's frankly impressive wit is pretty much lost on this horrid child.]}

BUT I DO KNO WAT A VENDING MACHENE IS I GET PUDING CUPS FRUM THEM I LYK THEM THEY R GOOD

[Text]

[callbacks]

ok well if you go to one of those and buy yourself a lemonade
thats pretty much liquid chill right there
i mean apple juice is better but for some reason thats harder to find around here??
like you gotta go to stores and shit and man sometimes i just aint got time for that runaround
i demand fruit flavored sugar water delivered into my hands as instantaneously as thought

[Text]

[garbagechild]

A LEMON ADE?? I HAV NOT HAD THAT

IS IT LIKE ORNJ JYUSE

MAMA LETS ME HAV THAT SOMTYMS

[Text]

[callbacks]

huh
well sure i guess its kind of like orange juice in that lemons and oranges are both citrus fruits
lemonades yellow instead of orange though
and sourer
but they put hella sugar in lemonade so it still tastes sweet as fuck
hey kid how old are you

[Text]

[garbagechild]

I DONT LYK SOWR THINGS BUT I DO LYK SUGAR

I ALSO DONT KNO HOW OLD I AM

A YEAR I THINK

?

MAYB 2

[Text]

[callbacks]

[...Okay...well then.]

you type very well for your years

[Text]

[garbagechild]

_{[He's not counting the eight years or so he spent in The Void.]}

THANK U

ANOTHR PERSON TOLD ME THEY CUD TELL BY HOW I TYPD THAT I WAS YONG BUT THAT I DID WELL

IT IS NYS 2 HEER THAT FROM ANOTHR PERSON AS WELL