garbagechild | 001. [Video/Action for Goldenrod Rocket HQ]

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001. [Video/Action for Goldenrod Rocket HQ]

[Video]

_{[Victims of motion sickness beware, because there's about to be a good two minutes of jerky, dizzying footage of the floor, the ceiling, an upside-down bed, and what appears to be the foot of a small child. The telltale sounds of hands grappling with a PokeGear are what dominate the audio feed, but murmuring in the background are what sound like deep, rumbling growls and a youthful, high-pitched voice-- probably belonging to the owner of that foot.]

[And then all at once the camera stops and gives everybody a great view of a pair of nostrils and, somewhere above them, a slightly more pleasant-to-behold pair of bright blue eyes.]}

--ink... I think it's a toy.

But not the kind you chase.

The other kind.

Um.

A puzzle.

_{[The screen jitters again-- now it's mostly tangled black hair on the screen, and a bony shoulder poking out a shirt that's way too big for it. Behind it is an expanse of leathery-looking flesh probably belonging to whatever's doing all that growling.]}

Ahuh... yeah, it's definitely a puzzle. I can tell 'cause it's got a lot of buttons.

_{[A chorus of deafening beeps sound as the kid promptly sets about trying to solve the puzzle by PRESSING EVERYTHING until the PokeGear is gently removed from his grasp by a set of bulky, blunt-clawed hands. And then, at a proper angle for the first time in this entire broadcast, a Kangaskhan's face appears in front of the screen, rumbling softly in greeting. She knows what a PokeGear is for! ... But then almost immediately a pair of pale little hands pop over the Pokemon's shoulder and try to grab the camera back.]}

No, no, I wanna solve it! I wanna solve the puzzle! Please? Please! Pl-- whoa!

_{[Standing all the way up, the Kangaskhan holds the camera in front of her and starts to plod across the small, undecorated dormlike room they're in, presumably towards the door, and presumably with her pint-sized trainer dangling from the 'puzzle'. Aaaand after some jostling, the feed cuts.]}

[Action for Rockets]

_{[In a building full of sneaky people, another sneaky person doesn't really stand out unless they're particularly bad at sneaking.]

[It just so happens that Wrath is not exactly the best at this.]

[Give him trees or bushes and sure, he can creep around like a good little let's-not-run-into-this-thing-in-the-dark. But all these winding hallways are slightly more alien territory, and there's only so many ways you can hide behind a corner without getting spotted. Especially when your GIANT KANGASKHAN STARTER KEEPS ON MARCHING STRAIGHT DOWN THE HALL LIKE SHE DOESN'T EVEN CARE IF THEY'RE SPOTTED.]}

Mama!

_{[This flustered hiss comes from behind an open door, where Wrath had ducked upon seeing a couple of much-taller Rocket Grunts go strolling past. Now he's peeking out, expression somewhere between frustrated and oh my god WHAT ARE YOU DOING AAAA]}

Don't do that, they'll see you!

_{[HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. Only that they're humans, and they're wearing uniforms. Uniforms that are drastically different from the ones he's used to seeing, of course, but he's had precisely one (1) significant experience with dudes in uniforms, and it was a really bad one. MIGHT AS WELL NOT TAKE CHANCES.]

[The Kangaskhan, however, has other plans. She's marching towards the Mess Hall and seems a little exasperated that her trainer isn't following her. :I HUMANS.]}

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[......

He really doesn't want to deal with any more tiny children.]

Sure, call it what you want. But if you break it, you're gonna be bored.

_{[TOO BAD, GREED. WHEN HE FINDS OUT WHO YOU ARE HE'S GONNA COME THROW ROCKS THROUGH YOUR WINDOWS BECAUSE YOU'RE A TRAITOR AND YOU SMELL.]

[But at least he can't do that through the 'Gear.]}

What? I wouldn't break it!

_{[Yes you would, you little shit. Have some self-awareness.]}

[What are you, eight years old? Yes you would.]

It's pretty fragile. Don't drop it or anything.

[And as tough a guy as Greed looks, the tone is more gentle than irritated.

....it's sure a good thing he doesn't remember Fourth Wall too clearly, but he's getting the feeling he's seen the kid somewhere before anyway.]

_{[Yeah, he would. :(]

[Fortunately (or... unfortunately, considering he's going to have to go through the whole OMG YOU'RE GREED? YOU'RE A TRAITOR? YOU'RE THAT GREED? THE ONE WHO'S A TRAITOR?? thing all over again), Wrath doesn't remember a single stitch of Fourth Wall madness.]

[So Greed's voice isn't ringing any bells.]

[There's pause.]}

... Oh.

_{[An even longer pause.]}

... What if I already dropped it?

_{[A LOT?]}

[....he's really getting the feeling he's seen the kid somewhere before.

....didn't he meet a child homunculus during the strange weekend? Greed's pretty sure he did, but unfortunately what the kid looked like is completely gone from his memory.

Running into another homunculus doesn't seem likely anyway. It would probably be the one from the other world if that happened.]

Well, if it's still working right now it's probably okay. Just be careful with it from now on. I don't know if you can get a replacement easily.

_{[Yeah Greed, it's THAT KID.]}

I didn't know it could break.

Is it broken?

Will pushing more buttons break it?

What does the pink one do?

_{[Sorry Greed, you are now the receptacle of ALL HIS 'GEAR RELATED QUESTIONS.]}

[...he can already feel a headache coming on.]

I don't know. I've never tried.

[Does he look like wants to be tech support?

...ugh. Let's change the subject.]

What's your name?

_{[Wrath has no reason to keep his name secret, so he's pretty willing to come forward with that info.]}

I'm Wrath!

Where's the sound coming from?

Is it coming from this hole?

[There's a scraping noise as he touches the mic.]

[NOPE

nope

He does not want to deal with this right now. But he doesn't hang up, either.]

Nice to meet you, Wrath.

That's the microphone. I don't know how it works, but you talk into it and whomever you're talking to can hear you because of the speakers.

Like with a phone?

I'm not allowed to use phones.

What's your name? Do you HAVE a name?

Not everybody has names.

I didn't at first!

_{[... Greed, if you know what's good for you, MAKE SOMETHING UP. HE WON'T HAVE ANY REASON TO THINK HE'S BEING LIED TO.]}

I have a name. It's [don't say Greed don't say Greed] Darius.

Why didn't you have a name at first, Wrath?

[Maybe he should pretend to find the name unusual, but that would be another lie. Telling one is hard enough as it is.]

_{[OPERATION SUCCESSFUL. Wrath has no idea who Greed is.]

[Dar-yus is a funny name. But in a surprising display of civility, Wrath refrains from mentioning this.]

[Instead he shrugs his mismatched shoulders.]}

'Cuz no one gave me one.

[....he'd been afraid it was going to be something like that. How did the kid even escape the Gate? Something like that should be impossible.

Had he grabbed the kid before Dante...]

Names are important, yeah? Good thing you have one now.

I do! It's a good name.

_{[He likes it. He's full of anger, so it feels right to be named after it. Even though it had been picked out for him by people who hadn't even met him yet.]

[If only Greed had gotten to him first.]}

[Honestly, it's not like Greed would have given him a much better name, if he thought to give the kid a name at all, but he would have been free.]

Welcome to Johto, kid.

_{[Free and named something stupid is a hell of a lot better than living under Dante's heel, that's for sure.]}

Johto?

Is that what this place is called?

Yeah, that's right. There's another place, but people all start in Johto.

[And that actually makes him think of something else.]

Where are you right now? Is it a small town or a big city?

[Oh god please don't let him be in Goldenrod...]

_{[HAHA HE'S IN GOLDENROD SORRY GREED.]}

Uh, I dunno!

I haven't been outside yet.

This building is real big.

There's even plants in it.

_{[Greed is now being treated to an extremely close-up view of a potted plant that's outside the door of the 'dorm'. ... Like, really close up.]

[... Wrath, honey, he can see it. You don't need to go closer.]}

[Oh goddammit are you serious.

Are you serious.]

My house has a couple plants, too. Makes some good decor.

[Let's... focus on that.

And not the other thing.]

I didn't even know plants could go inside!

I thought they came from dirt.

But there's no dirt in here.

_{[... Also, Wrath, those plants are fake.]}

[ah...]

Well, plants do better with sunlight, you know. But they do fine in pots with a little dirt and water.

[Should... he... mention that they're fake plants?]

_{[Not unless he wants to explain what the point of fake plants existing is to begin with. Do you really want to open THAT can of worms, Greed?]}

Really? In a POT?

With just dirt and water?

That's all they need?

Don't they get BORED?

I'd be bored if I had to live in a pot.

[Greed is terrible enough with children when they're not undead monster people so he'd rather not...]

Ah, well, they're plants. I dunno if they have opinions about these things.

_{[Wrath turns the video back over to himself, tilting his head.]}

Why not? They're alive, aren't they?

Well, yes, of course they are. But they're not thinking beings. Not like you or me, or your Pokemon. Or even animals that don't understand speech like dogs or cats.

001. [Video/Action for Goldenrod Rocket HQ]

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