garbagechild | 001. [Video/Action for Goldenrod Rocket HQ]

[Video]

_{[Victims of motion sickness beware, because there's about to be a good two minutes of jerky, dizzying footage of the floor, the ceiling, an upside-down bed, and what appears to be the foot of a small child. The telltale sounds of hands grappling with a PokeGear are what dominate the audio feed, but murmuring in the background are what sound like deep, rumbling growls and a youthful, high-pitched voice-- probably belonging to the owner of that foot.]

[And then all at once the camera stops and gives everybody a great view of a pair of nostrils and, somewhere above them, a slightly more pleasant-to-behold pair of bright blue eyes.]}

--ink... I think it's a toy.

But not the kind you chase.

The other kind.

Um.

A puzzle.

_{[The screen jitters again-- now it's mostly tangled black hair on the screen, and a bony shoulder poking out a shirt that's way too big for it. Behind it is an expanse of leathery-looking flesh probably belonging to whatever's doing all that growling.]}

Ahuh... yeah, it's definitely a puzzle. I can tell 'cause it's got a lot of buttons.

_{[A chorus of deafening beeps sound as the kid promptly sets about trying to solve the puzzle by PRESSING EVERYTHING until the PokeGear is gently removed from his grasp by a set of bulky, blunt-clawed hands. And then, at a proper angle for the first time in this entire broadcast, a Kangaskhan's face appears in front of the screen, rumbling softly in greeting. She knows what a PokeGear is for! ... But then almost immediately a pair of pale little hands pop over the Pokemon's shoulder and try to grab the camera back.]}

No, no, I wanna solve it! I wanna solve the puzzle! Please? Please! Pl-- whoa!

_{[Standing all the way up, the Kangaskhan holds the camera in front of her and starts to plod across the small, undecorated dormlike room they're in, presumably towards the door, and presumably with her pint-sized trainer dangling from the 'puzzle'. Aaaand after some jostling, the feed cuts.]}

[Action for Rockets]

_{[In a building full of sneaky people, another sneaky person doesn't really stand out unless they're particularly bad at sneaking.]

[It just so happens that Wrath is not exactly the best at this.]

[Give him trees or bushes and sure, he can creep around like a good little let's-not-run-into-this-thing-in-the-dark. But all these winding hallways are slightly more alien territory, and there's only so many ways you can hide behind a corner without getting spotted. Especially when your GIANT KANGASKHAN STARTER KEEPS ON MARCHING STRAIGHT DOWN THE HALL LIKE SHE DOESN'T EVEN CARE IF THEY'RE SPOTTED.]}

Mama!

_{[This flustered hiss comes from behind an open door, where Wrath had ducked upon seeing a couple of much-taller Rocket Grunts go strolling past. Now he's peeking out, expression somewhere between frustrated and oh my god WHAT ARE YOU DOING AAAA]}

Don't do that, they'll see you!

_{[HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. Only that they're humans, and they're wearing uniforms. Uniforms that are drastically different from the ones he's used to seeing, of course, but he's had precisely one (1) significant experience with dudes in uniforms, and it was a really bad one. MIGHT AS WELL NOT TAKE CHANCES.]

[The Kangaskhan, however, has other plans. She's marching towards the Mess Hall and seems a little exasperated that her trainer isn't following her. :I HUMANS.]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[Free and named something stupid is a hell of a lot better than living under Dante's heel, that's for sure.]}

Johto?

Is that what this place is called?

Yeah, that's right. There's another place, but people all start in Johto.

[And that actually makes him think of something else.]

Where are you right now? Is it a small town or a big city?

[Oh god please don't let him be in Goldenrod...]

_{[HAHA HE'S IN GOLDENROD SORRY GREED.]}

Uh, I dunno!

I haven't been outside yet.

This building is real big.

There's even plants in it.

_{[Greed is now being treated to an extremely close-up view of a potted plant that's outside the door of the 'dorm'. ... Like, really close up.]

[... Wrath, honey, he can see it. You don't need to go closer.]}

[Oh goddammit are you serious.

Are you serious.]

My house has a couple plants, too. Makes some good decor.

[Let's... focus on that.

And not the other thing.]

I didn't even know plants could go inside!

I thought they came from dirt.

But there's no dirt in here.

_{[... Also, Wrath, those plants are fake.]}

[ah...]

Well, plants do better with sunlight, you know. But they do fine in pots with a little dirt and water.

[Should... he... mention that they're fake plants?]

_{[Not unless he wants to explain what the point of fake plants existing is to begin with. Do you really want to open THAT can of worms, Greed?]}

Really? In a POT?

With just dirt and water?

That's all they need?

Don't they get BORED?

I'd be bored if I had to live in a pot.

[Greed is terrible enough with children when they're not undead monster people so he'd rather not...]

Ah, well, they're plants. I dunno if they have opinions about these things.

_{[Wrath turns the video back over to himself, tilting his head.]}

Why not? They're alive, aren't they?

Well, yes, of course they are. But they're not thinking beings. Not like you or me, or your Pokemon. Or even animals that don't understand speech like dogs or cats.

Oh.

... Well, if I couldn't even think, then I'd be really bored stuck living in a pot.

[If he couldn't think, he wouldn't be aware of being bored...]

Ah, I don't know. I think being trapped alone with your own thoughts is far worse a fate.

_{[HE'S A SMALL CHILD OKAY, his ability to rationalize nothingness is limited. Even though he's probably more intimately familiar with it than most.]}

Well, when I was trapped with my thoughts, they were the only thing that let me escape!

If I didn't have them, I'dve just stayed there forever!

And that's awful.

[...You know, he's going to let the kid logic prevail here because Wrath does have a point in a very small child understanding of the world sort of way.]

Guess you have a point there.

[Let's avoid talking about the Gate, though, because Greed isn't going to be keeping up the bullshit act if that continues to be a topic of discussion.]

_{[Wrath looks pleased at what he'll interpret as agreement!]}

Mommy says I'm pretty smart.

[...oh wow that stings in a way he doesn't want to spend too long thinking about.]

That so? Well, it makes sense that she would.

001. [Video/Action for Goldenrod Rocket HQ]

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