001. [Video/Action for Goldenrod Rocket HQ]

[garbagechild]

[Video]

<sub>[Victims of motion sickness beware, because there's about to be a good two minutes of jerky, dizzying footage of the floor, the ceiling, an upside-down bed, and what appears to be the foot of a small child. The telltale sounds of hands grappling with a PokeGear are what dominate the audio feed, but murmuring in the background are what sound like deep, rumbling growls and a youthful, high-pitched voice-- probably belonging to the owner of that foot.]

[And then all at once the camera stops and gives everybody a great view of a pair of nostrils and, somewhere above them, a slightly more pleasant-to-behold pair of bright blue eyes.]</sub>

--ink... I think it's a toy.

But not the kind you chase.

The other kind.

Um.

A puzzle.

_{[The screen jitters again-- now it's mostly tangled black hair on the screen, and a bony shoulder poking out a shirt that's way too big for it. Behind it is an expanse of leathery-looking flesh probably belonging to whatever's doing all that growling.]}

Ahuh... yeah, it's definitely a puzzle. I can tell 'cause it's got a lot of buttons.

_{[A chorus of deafening beeps sound as the kid promptly sets about trying to solve the puzzle by PRESSING EVERYTHING until the PokeGear is gently removed from his grasp by a set of bulky, blunt-clawed hands. And then, at a proper angle for the first time in this entire broadcast, a Kangaskhan's face appears in front of the screen, rumbling softly in greeting. She knows what a PokeGear is for! ... But then almost immediately a pair of pale little hands pop over the Pokemon's shoulder and try to grab the camera back.]}

No, no, I wanna solve it! I wanna solve the puzzle! Please? Please! Pl-- whoa!

_{[Standing all the way up, the Kangaskhan holds the camera in front of her and starts to plod across the small, undecorated dormlike room they're in, presumably towards the door, and presumably with her pint-sized trainer dangling from the 'puzzle'. Aaaand after some jostling, the feed cuts.]}


[Action for Rockets]

<sub>[In a building full of sneaky people, another sneaky person doesn't really stand out unless they're particularly bad at sneaking.]

[It just so happens that Wrath is not exactly the best at this.]

[Give him trees or bushes and sure, he can creep around like a good little let's-not-run-into-this-thing-in-the-dark. But all these winding hallways are slightly more alien territory, and there's only so many ways you can hide behind a corner without getting spotted. Especially when your GIANT KANGASKHAN STARTER KEEPS ON MARCHING STRAIGHT DOWN THE HALL LIKE SHE DOESN'T EVEN CARE IF THEY'RE SPOTTED.]</sub>

Mama!

_{[This flustered hiss comes from behind an open door, where Wrath had ducked upon seeing a couple of much-taller Rocket Grunts go strolling past. Now he's peeking out, expression somewhere between frustrated and oh my god WHAT ARE YOU DOING AAAA]}

Don't do that, they'll see you!

<sub>[HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. Only that they're humans, and they're wearing uniforms. Uniforms that are drastically different from the ones he's used to seeing, of course, but he's had precisely one (1) significant experience with dudes in uniforms, and it was a really bad one. MIGHT AS WELL NOT TAKE CHANCES.]

[The Kangaskhan, however, has other plans. She's marching towards the Mess Hall and seems a little exasperated that her trainer isn't following her. :I HUMANS.]</sub>

Comments

[rocketralph]

Free, that's what it is. When you're done here I'll show you which buttons not to press on the drink machine.

_{[The huge man moves away from the line and lets the kid take his time. It's probably the only chance he'll get to eat today. Meanwhile, Ralph gently (as gently as somebody like him can anyway) thumps the side of the ice machine and holds his glass underneath.]}

C'mon you crummy thing.

_{[Thump thump thump.]}

C'mon.

_{[Thump THUMP--} THUMP<sub>]
[A small avalanche of ice tumbles out of the machine and all over the floor.]

[A well-rehearsed voice hollars from the other side of the mess hall.]</sub>

WRECK-IT. THAT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK.

...Ah, nuts.

[garbagechild]

<sub>[Mama has longer arms than Wrath does, so she grabs a tray and grunts encouragingly at him to indicate that he should point out what he wants on it.]

[After a few minutes of leaning over to get a better look at the options, the tray winds up mostly full of sardines, pulled pork, and a whole lot of cooked carrots. And one Slowpoke tail. He has no idea what ANY of it is gonna taste like, minus the fish-- and even that'll be a surprise, since he's only ever had fresh fish before.]

[Mama plods over to Ralph with the loaded tray in hand just in time to see the ice disaster, and Wrath tilts his head from his perch on her shoulders.]</sub>

... Is that one of the buttons I shouldn't press?

[rocketralph]

_{[Finally a few ice cubes tumble into his glass.Ralph draws in a deeeeeeep breath. Then he lets it out slooooowly.]}

Eyup.

_{[He hits the soda button and once his glass is full he moves out of the way.]}

Welp, there goes that TM. There's always next week.

[garbagechild]

<sub>[Mama lets out a sympathetic rumble. TOUGH BREAK, MAN. Then she bustles forward to delicately pick up a plastic cup in her claws and fill it with water. NO SODA. Too much sugar. Her new trainer doesn't need that on his first day.]

[Wrath just fidgets until she's done, looking all around the cafeteria, clearly intrigued.]</sub>

Are all the people here Team Rocket?

[rocketralph]

_{[Ralph leads the way to one of those long benches. He sits down on it and the whole thing tips upwards ever so slightly. He's used to his tray sliding away from him so he hangs onto it in a practiced motion.]}

Yup. People, Pokemon, everyone. Sort of a...secret club of evildoers or somethi'n like that.

_{[He occupies his mouth with a spoonful of food to try and forget about the ice machine.]}

[garbagechild]

_{[Mama ambles after him, politely taking a seat on the floor and letting Wrath clamber onto the bench on the other side with his tray full of mysterious edible (?) things. He's actually more interested in what Ralph has to say, though.]}

A secret club?

I'm kind of in another secret club already, but... I guess I could be in two.

Two secret clubs.

_{[Wrath, SECRET MEANS SECRET. Stop talking about your other secret club.]}

[rocketralph]

Oh yeah?

_{[He lifts a brick-shaped brow. He's catching onto that pretty quickly.]}

What kinda club is this secret club of yours?

_{[He's not actually interested but he is curious to see if the kid spills the beans.]}

[garbagechild]

_{[Wrath had picked up a carrot coin and was licking it experimentally, but he stops to blink at Ralph.]}

A secret one.

_{[If Ralph expected anything different, he's apparently going to be disappointed.]}

[rocketralph]

_{[Smart kid. Ralph lets out a little satisfied puff of a laugh through his nose and takes a bite of "pizza" in quotation marks.]}

Then you know all about not gettin' caught then. Good t'know.

[garbagechild]

Yeah.

Getting caught is bad.

_{[He punctuates this with a solemn nod, then nibbles on the carrot coin, wrinkles his nose, and puts it back down. 8( Ew.]}

[rocketralph]

_{[Ralph isn't sure he likes how well the kid seems to know the drill. So he decides to focus on something else.]}

You should eat that, it's good for you.

[garbagechild]

But it doesn't taste good, so it can't be.

<sub>[He says this like it's a fact, and to be fair, THAT'S KIND OF ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT FOOD AND EATING. If your body needs it, you'll want to eat it. If you DON'T want to eat it, you shouldn't! Simple.]

[Mama snorts softly and nudges the tray towards him. EAT YOUR VEGETABLES, LITTLE HUMAN.]</sub>

[rocketralph]

<sub>[Arceus help him when he discovers CANDY. Ralph shrugs and digs back into his own plate. He can't help but think about his most recent job and how easy it was.]

[Like a familiar pair of shoes.]

[Or how he thought a familiar pair of shoes might feel like. Considering...]

[Meanwhile, Bossy reappeared at the table, carrying her own little tray. She gave Mama a snotty little stare before digging in with her hands like an animal.]</sub>

[garbagechild]

<sub>[He pokes his tongue out at the carrots. HMPH. He doesn't want 'em.]

[So instead he shifts his attention to Bossy and waves at her from across the table.]</sub>

Hello!

_{[Mama notes the snotty stare, but SHE IS THE BIGGER 'MON (literally) so she just shuts her eyes lazily and lays her chin next to Wrath's tray.]}

[rocketralph]

_{[Bossy blinks at Wrath. Why was he sitting with them? Ralph did not have a lot of friends on the team.]}

Shrew.

Bossy, be nice.

Shrew.

[garbagechild]

<sub>[Wrath tilts his head, but he's FAIRLY USED to team-mates not particularly wanting to talk.]

[So he looks back down at the tray and picks up one of the sardines (or CONVINCING SARDINE-LIKE FISHY TOFUS or whatever passes for fish in Pokemon-land) and chomps on it... only to make another face. What. THAT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE THE FISH HE ATE ON THE ISLAND.]</sub>

[rocketralph]

_{[Wow, no dice on the fauxfish either, huh?]}

Is there anything you do like?

[garbagechild]

This doesn't taste like fish.

<sub>[He's completely unfamiliar with packaged food, given that the only things he's EVER EATEN outside of the red stones Envy offered to him were fresh-caught fish and barbecued meat straight from the butcher's table.]

[SO HE LOOKS A LITTLE DISTRESSED at the fact that this LOOKS LIKE A FRESH FISH but tastes so.... NOT.]</sub>

[rocketralph]

<sub>[Ralph's brows meet. He's not sure how to help this kid. Fish was...fish!]

[Bossy is though! She hops up onto the table and reaches greedily for Wrath's plate.]</sub>

[garbagechild]

<sub>[Mama's eyes snap open again and she lets out a warning growl in Bossy's direction. She might be willing to put up with some BS, but you'd better watch it, Missy. >8[]

[Wrath, on the other hand, doesn't seem bothered by this in the slightest, and he promptly scoops up handfuls of carrots and sardines and plops them right down on the table in front of the Sandshrew. 8I He doesn't want them so he literally couldn't care less if someone else takes them. SHE CAN HAVE 'EM.]

[Finally, he turns his attention to the pulled pork (or extremely convincing porklike tofu) and cautiously nibbles on a strand of it...]





[THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM.]

[Face brightening, he takes a bigger handful and shovels it unceremoniously into his mouth.]</sub>

[rocketralph]

<sub>[Bossy growls right back. She aint ascared of you, you walking fanny pack! And then suddenly there is a pile of 'gross' food in front of her courticy of the wild-haired angel on the other side of the table.]

[Well then!]

[Still looking Mama dead in the eyes, Bossy starts gathering up the food and shoving it into her mouth bite by bite. Try and stop her. Try.]

[MEANWHILE, Ralph pauses in his own meal when Wrath's face finally lights up. He didn't realize just how invested he was in this kid finding something decent before being put through training until he found himself grinning.]</sub>

Not bad, huh?

[garbagechild]

<sub>[Mama's eyes narrow... but her trainer handed the food over willingly, so she won't pursue the matter. If Bossy had actually snatched the tray away, though... She's got her eye on you, shrew.]

[Wrath, oblivious to the tension brimming between their two starters, nods enthusiastically to Ralph, talking with his mouth full.]</sub>

I'th good!

What ithit?

[rocketralph]

<sub>[Bossy narrows her eyes as well, but in an awful little puffy-cheeked smile.]

[Ralph polishes off his plate and gestures with his fork.]</sub>

Best I can tell? Some kinda nondescript lunch meat. Some days it's bad, some days it's not so bad. Trust me, once you get some money in your pockets, there's a lot better than this waiting for you outside.

[garbagechild]

Money? I've never needed money before...

<sub>[He sort of vaguely knows what it IS from hanging around with the other Homunculi, but they never actually like. Pay for anything. They'd always just taken what they wanted, one way or another.]

[Not that you wanted for much that money could buy when you didn't particularly need to eat, sleep, drink, or do much of ANYTHING humans needed to do to survive.]</sub>

[rocketralph]

_{[Now that gets a laugh out of him.]}

Well you're gonna need it now! Y'cant steal everything...too many cameras. And guard Pokemon.

_{[He'd lost the seat out of a good pair of pants to a Poochyena in some old lady's back yard last week.]}